My Mother's Dream
It's no secret (if you read my profile) that I love cooking and I also love to write. Every once in a while I write something even if it is not food related in content. This memory is close to my heart and I think it sends a message which is to follow your dreams.
My Mother’s Dream
By Patty Haxton
Anderson
I have just recalled a memory from childhood but I am not
sure how old I was when this happened. Perhaps I was close to my teen age
years. The memory is choppy and somewhat vague. My mother was doodling on some
paper; well it’s more like she was attempting to sketch something.
Invading her space and looking over her shoulder I saw that
she was actually drawing a face or perhaps a tree or a vase of flowers? Doesn’t
matter – what matters was that I noticed the drawing had form to it and life
and was impressed that my mother could draw.
I complimented her and she told me something that I did not
know until that day: that after high school she was planning to go on to art
school. However, she did not. Instead she married and had children. Another
time I spotted her taking some boxes down from a shelf and I do recall that she
called me to her and showed me what was in the boxes. She actually allowed me
to peak into her past.
What she produced was some of the work she had done in high
school along with her diploma and some old pictures and newspaper clippings of
the ad graphics that she found interesting back when she was “younger”.
Now as I sit here typing this I find it sad that she never
did pursue her dream of becoming a graphic artist. That was going to be her
main goal – to become a graphic artist. I sit here and imagine that she would
have had dreams of going to the big city, perhaps New York where she would have become some
kind of graphic, marketing person working for a then famous magazine.
She gave up a dream and stored it in a box and allowed that
dream to sit on a shelf for years. Was she being a martyr or was it a true act
of selflessness? I do know that we spoke a few words that day and you could see
the sparkle in her when she spoke of her dream but could also see behind that
sparkle a face that seemed to heave a huge sigh. The sigh was that of something
she kept with her, her whole life.
Even when we were older and her financial situation changed
she never did go after her dream. I don’t know what happened to that box of
dreams she had. Somewhere along the line the box went missing literally and
figuratively. Oh, how I wish she could have had the courage to pursue it.
And maybe, just maybe in her Heaven she has.
I've just read this for the first time Patty. It's a lovely sentiment. I lost my own mother 12 years ago. All she ever wanted was to be a MUM, and was to 5 children. But she was much more than that.X
ReplyDeleteAnd Jen I am sure you miss her as much as I miss mine. Being a mother is a gift and like my Mother always said: "It's the hardest job you will ever love."
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